出国留学首选一诺留学

商学院指导老师示范如何让一份简历脱胎换骨？

　　例文 1

　　原文：Bachelor of Engineering; Major: Telecom Engineering; GPA 3.5

　　修改推荐：Bachelor of Engineering, GPA 3.5, rank top1% in class and graduated as honored student

　　修改原因：单纯说成绩的说服力不如说排名，特别是对中国学生而言，GPA往往没有统一的换算标准，每个学校的GPA含金量都各不相同，所以说排名的百分比最直观。这样，对于GPA不高而排名高同学，也可以用这个方法来说明实际的成绩。因为美国人评估成绩并不重视绝对分数值，而是更看重排名。

　　例文 2

　　原文：Awarded Dean’s scholarship in year 2004

　　修改推荐：Awarded Dean’s scholarship for outstanding academic performance, top 1%

　　修改原因：秀获奖经历本身很重要，但更重要的是要说明白这个奖有多难获得。哪怕是奥斯卡大奖，如果见者有份，也不稀罕啊。因此说清楚为什么获奖也同样重要。特别是对于GPA看起来不高的同学，如果能写上因为学习好而获得奖学金，那计算GPA的数字游戏自然而然地可以避免啦。

　　例文 3

　　原文：Was class mater for four years and organized more than 10 group activities

　　修改推荐：Elected by 100 students as class mater for actively organizing group activities, such as annual University Asset Management Competition

　　修改原因：在简历中写明在学校担任的社会职务，其目的无非是展示领导力。突出领导力的方法不是单纯的引用一个职务的名字和任期，更重要的是展示自己受欢迎的程度和在位期间的作为。如曾经组织过很有特色的校园活动，既体现领导精神，又体现了创新精神，可谓一举两得。

　　例文 4

　　原文：Turned around the company by exploring new clients like ABC to acquire $999,000 annual order and developing partnership with DEF and secured $100k annual order in 2016. Boosted company profit by 8% amid while industry profit declined by 7% due to the financial crisis

　　修改推荐：Explored two new clients and enhanced existing partnership, which brought $10 million revenue and increased company profit by 8% while the entire industry operated at lost due to financial crisis

　　修改原因：原文使用了很多数字，这个很好，但是却使用得很混乱，格式不统一，对比没有实际意义。更严重的是，原文的一句话试图把很多个不同的意思揉在一起，反倒使得读者无法读出重点，甚至感到迷惑。每一句话有一个重点就好，想清楚重点，放弃不必要的信息。

　　例文 5

　　原文：Managed a five-year bottom-up, multi-scenario cost forecasting model for ABC company

　　修改推荐：Designed a multi-scenario cost forecasting model which was expected to save the client $X million in five years, bring up operating margin from 9% to 10%

　　修改原因：Manage是一个最好不用的动词，就好像所有的动词都可以简单地用do来替代一样，动词越具有实际意义越好。同时无论做了什么，最好都强调对公司的经济意义。

　　例文 6

　　原文： As the Asia sourcing coordinator, was in charge of ABC Europe competitive programs in Low Cost Countries, cooperated with the sourcing team in Malaysia, Thailand and Vietnam, drove the grow for ABC Europe lighting business and reviewed with CDE Europe CEO weekly. Finally, successfully completed 20 projects and moved $25 million business to Low Cost Countries.

　　修改推荐1：Identified and signed high quality vendors in low cost countries, who saved 20 projects more than $25 million so far

　　修改推荐2：Set up and sustained high quality vendors for lighting business in low cost countries include Malaysia, Thailand and Vietnam, quality was maintained though weekly business review with business CEO

　　修改原因：首先，这个写法犯了一个低级错误，就是没有用东西开头，并且在任何时候，我都不推荐一条简历超过A4纸4行，准确的说，两行半最多。第二，这一连串的经历看似很强大，实则很空洞。修改推荐了两种不同的写法，可以从两个方面 来展现申请人不同的素质。选择哪种，视需要而定。

　　例文 7

　　原文：Earned the fastest promotion from analyst to associate due to outstanding performance

　　修改推荐：Promoted from analyst to associate in one year, fastest among 190 peers in greater China region

　　修改原因：没有比较就没有谁更优秀，也可能在一个公司里面所有的人。即使是一个职位的晋升，也要写出对比来。Earned这个词用这在里有些奇怪，不够专业。

　　例文 8

　　原文：Trained and mentored newly hired engineers since May. 2005, and resulted in every engineer be able to master project process technically and functionally in about half a year

　　修改推荐：Delivered both professional and on job training to new hire engineers in team, over 40 were mentored during last two years and 100% were qualified within six months

　　修改原因：公司内部培训的经历不是很容易写。原文没有强调数字，也没有强调结果。修改的例文也不够完美，因为没有说明公司要求的上岗培训的时间，最好能再加上6个月是公司要求的上岗培训周期。

　　特别提示：很多简历，因为语法和公司业务的特殊性质等原因，读者理解困难，或者有歧义。能够清晰明白的表达出作者的真实意图，是写出一份好简历的最根本也是最重要的要求。

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